Your sex life is not just How many times you orgasm – It’s about who you are when you experience pleasure. Whether you are the kind of person who loves to explore New kinks Or establish an emotional connection to your partner before a physical, everyone has an erotic person.
In the same way as how Love language explain how you best give and get loveAn erotic person explains how you best experience desire and intimacy. Understanding your erotic persona is not just a fun little fact to take to add your Tinderbiobut. It can help you have a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life.
“By understanding your own erotic persona – and the one for your partner – you open a more nuanced conversation about what you need to feel the desired and connected,” says Sexekpert Nicholas Velotta. “It’s not about labeling yourself but discovering new ways to play, communicate and grow together.”
Most people fall into one or more of the four main erotic categories: the adventurer, the director, the romantic and the contact. According to Velotta, here is what each means and how you can discover your own.
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Nicholas Velotta is a kink -expert and head of relationship science at AryaA platform that helps couples better get in touch with each other.
What is an erotic persona?
“An erotic persona is a door to understand how you connect, want and find pleasure – not just physically, but emotionally and mentally,” says Velotta. Think about it as your sexual personality, if you want. “Erotic personalities highlight how we experience desire, excitement and connection,” adds Velotta.
The term “erotic persona” derives from AryaAn intimacy platform that helps couples communicate their wishes with their partners more efficiently. As Arya’s internal researchers, Velotta notes that an erotic person is more than just knowing what turns you on. “It also takes into account what makes you feel emotionally linked, what obstacles you face when you try to feel desire and how you experience erotic play.” In addition, it can also be advantageous for your relationship: “These insights not only help individuals understand their own sexual identity – they also offer a way for couples to better navigate in their differences.”
What are the types of erotic personalities?
The adventurer
To no surprise, the adventurer loves adventure in the bedroom. They are always down to try new things, and they tend to be the group’s kinksters. If it is Explore BDSMchooses one New sex positionor engage in a Role playing ideaThey get excited by new experiences. With a partner, “they long for news, excitement and excitement to drive boundaries together,” Velotta adds.
The director
Unlike the adventurer, the director enjoys order and texture. “The director experiences sex in a structured, targeted way, and it follows a clear sequence where excitement leads to desire, which leads to sex,” says Velotta. They tend to enjoy the more obvious parts of sex – penetration, visual and orgasms. “Exploring other forms of sex that are more energetic, sensory or spiritual can be more challenging for them, as their sexuality is based in physics, frequency and orgasmic release,” Velotta adds.
The romantic
The romantic erotic staff is for anyone who has a Responsive wish. (They also loved to be profit and eaten.) “For the romantic, emotional connection, trust, self -esteem and feeling at home in their own body are essential grounds for intimacy,” says Velotta. “People with this persona tend to be deeply affected by sincere compliments and romantic languages.” Nor do they need to have penetrating sex to feel connected. Foreplay is an important part of connecting to someone who has a romantic erotic persona.
The contact
Contact is happy with all types of stimulation – emotionally, physically and mentally. “Of course, they are looking for creative, intentional ways to get in touch with their partner through touch, which makes intimacy feel both exciting and deeply meaningful,” says Velotta. However, they can easily become distracted, overstimulated and sensitive to their surroundings. “To really ignite their passion, it is important to create a space free from interruption – one where their senses can completely focus on pleasure and clutch.”
How to find your erotic persona
If you are interested in finding out your erotic personalities you can take Arya’s quiz here. It will ask you a series of demographic questions about your relationship status, such as how long you have been with your partner and what you want to come out from understanding your erotic persona. Then it will dive into what your current gender looks like and how you want to change it.
“It’s not about labeling yourself but discovering new ways to play, communicate and grow.”
The quiz will ask you to rate on a scale from one to five how safe you feel experiment with your partner and how satisfied you are with your sex life. Then it will ask you what skills you would most be interested in exploring with a partner, as Anal gamesThe edgingThe Dirty callAnd more.
It is worth noting that Arya quiz are focused on people who are already in romantic relationships, so if you are single, it would be best to talk to one Sex therapist on what your erotic persona is and how you can use it to improve your masturbation or other sex experiences.
How to use your erotic persona to improve your sex life
When you first understand your erotic persona, it can help you to better communicate your wishes with your partner. After all, to explain what your erotic persona is to your partner can help them better understand what you need during sex – and vice versa.
However, keep in mind that you do not need to have the same erotic person as your partner to get a healthy sex life. “Instead of seeing erotic differences such as roadblocks, couples can use the personalities as opportunities to learn more about each other, expand their desires and promote intimacy that is satisfactory for both parties,” says Velotta.
If you need more help in understanding how to communicate your preferences to your partner or integrate your erotic persona into your own sex life, you can talk to a sex therapist or use Arya’s tools and resources to be a good place to start.
Taylor Andrews (She/her) is Balance Editor on PS, specializing in subjects relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel and more. With seven years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and story. Before she came to PS 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.