“You are a dinosaur” must be the most memorable line I’ve ever heard after telling a guy that I was a virgin. Although it is unclear if he meant it as a compliment or insult, I thought it was quite poetic to be compared to an extinct animal whose existence is completely outdated. But it is not always the reaction I get.
As a virgin, dating is extremely difficult. Like everyone else I fight to find contacts in real life, so I have to take to Dating apps. But even on the apps, most men seem to be looking for connections exclusively. After some messages they try Sex sext me or ask me to come over. I remove and block them shortly after.
In the rare case that anyone convinces me that they are not exclusively after sex, I give them a chance. But when they find out that I’m a virgin, they look at it as if it’s a kind of game. For them, it’s like a test, and they think they will pass it quickly and hope that they will miraculously be the one I choose to have the first time sex with.
I thought it was quite poetic to be compared to an extinct animal whose existence is completely outdated.
Recently, I dated a guy for over four months who did things he said he “never done” everything in the name of having sex with me. I told him from the beginning that I was not the kind of girl to “Netflix and cold” with, and he convinced me that we were on the same page. So we went on date – even when he said he “never” goes on date.
Things were good when we were together, and we really had good chemistry. But when I told him about three weeks after I was a virgin, he thought I was just fun.
“Are you really a 35-year-old maiden?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m actually a 35-year-old virgin,” I replied.
My choice to be a virgin was absurd for him, but I explained that the idea of sleeping with people who had no interest was absurd for me.
Eventually fizzled things when he realized I wouldn’t have sex with him. He said I forced him to get on a date and buy me flowers, and that was when I decided I was done. It was obvious that he was not the man for me because it would be pleased to make such gestures.
At the moment it is not that I necessarily wait for marriage – but if it happens that way I am not against it. The reason I am a virgin is that I want to be valued and really cared for. I want to be enveloped and I want to know that I am with someone who appreciates all my creature. I have not yet known about anyone.
However, my choice to remain a virgin is deeper than just six. For me it is about the connection and being with someone who really sees me. Since I have already waited so long, I am in a hurry to spend my first time with someone who does not deserve it.
After all, I’m still young and youthful. I do not feel the need to solve, even if it means not having sex a little anymore. Maybe it’s not that bad to be a dinosaur.
Candis McDow are freelance writers and writers. Her memoir “Half The Battle” is available on Amazon.