It seems that throughout social media, people discover that they have ADHD. It is estimated that it 6 percent of the population have hyperactivity disorder for attention deficit, but in particular more women are To be diagnosed with ADHD than in previous years. But what we are not talking about is how so many of us women don’t even suspect we have ADHD until after becoming mothers. And that was exactly what happened to me.
At 38 years, two years after having my daughter, I got one of the best gifts: I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. Before that, a typical everyday life consisted of fighting to manage my time, forgetting meetings, feeling paralyzed by decisions, having an overactive brain, starting and abandoning tasks and experiencing intense rejection sensitivity.
Just imagine this: It’s a typical everyday life. My daughter is with the child girl, and I run cases, thoughts compete as usual. They sound a bit like this: What did my husband asked me to buy? I don’t remember. Has my child already received the flu shot? I really have to start highlighting these things in my calendar. Last night was so fun, but I hope I didn’t share too much with my new mom friends. I am super excited about this new business concept I have, but frankly I can’t tell anyone about it. It just becomes another thing that I start and is not done. I hate how inconsistent I am. My God, I’m late again!
My brain has always been uninterrupted, messy and sometimes cruel. But like many Latinas with mental disorders, even though I was frustrated, I just thought that was how I would live.
Historically, women have been underdiagnosedWhich leads to the likelihood that they were diagnosed with ADHD later in life than men. Originally, ADHD was studied almost exclusively in boys who demonstrated hyperactivity and impulsivity traits. This led to a whole generation of women, like myself, who have been overlooked. Now, More research is centered on women’s experiences, and finally, researchers admit that women and girls present differently than boys.
Maybe that’s why I never considered ADHD to be an opportunity for me. As a child and teenager, I was not hyperactive or impulsive. I was super sensitive, a daydreamer, an extreme people pleasant and self -conscious. I felt easily overwhelmed, worried and had poor organizational skills. None of these characteristics, except the latter, are listed in DSM-5, the manual used by healthcare professionals as the official guide to diagnose mental disorders. What we have learned now is that boys and girls, men and women present differently. For many women they have become accustomed to masking or put on a “socially acceptable“Face because it seems like they are perfectly good.
I wish I could say that I developed the best clear skills. Still, I think that I was mainly relying on suppressing the parts that I considered unfavorable and overcompensated in other areas of my life. So many years of these mental gymnastics took a fee on me. I eventually sought help, and about five years ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and started taking medication. When I look back, this was a missed opportunity to identify my ADHD; it can often go unidentified for people with anxiety or depression.
I stayed at Lexapro throughout pregnancy and postpartum, and it has definitely made a difference for me as a mother. I am more patience and can self -regulate in a way that I never thought I could with a demanding child. But even with that relief, my brain and nervous system still felt like the backfired. My usual tool kit no longer worked.
Like most new mothers, I thought this was just the notorious “mom brain.” Being forgetful and disoriented is expected for new mothers. The mental, emotional and physical load that no one prepares us for is at best a shock and in the worst case. Mom’s brains change after birth: We experience a loss in gray material, an area responsible for “Processing And respond to social signals, “and a volume loss to our hippocampus, a region associated with memory.
One day I browsed through Tiktok and a video caught my attention. A mother talked about her ADHD diagnosis and began to list qualities that I completely related to. Hyperfixing on a task that you eventually lose when the tension disappears? Verify. Emotional dysgregation? Absolutely! Rejection sensitivity? OMG, yes! Overactive brain? How did you know?! Over -division? JUP! Low self -esteem? ! The list continued, and as she continued, I was stupid by how many people used me.
It turns out that for women being diagnosed with ADHD as mothers is very common. For some, when they test their own children, they recognize features in themselves. New mothers can discover that hormonal changes Postpartum is enough to finally lead them against a diagnosis. For me, my years crashed with masking and compensation of my already fragile executive functions.
With this newly found information in my hand, I went down my research rabbit hole and looked at books and podcasts. Eventually, I brought my concern to my therapist, who confirmed my ADHD thoughts. After a few sessions, it became obvious that I needed specialized care, so I started working with an ADHD coach.
My coach is a partial therapist, sub -strategist. Together I work through my everyday problems and we identify how ADHD can affect these areas of my life and what I can do about it. She gives me articles, videos and podcasts that help me understand my brain need for dopamine, how to manage when I become emotionally dys regulated and how I can implement organizational tools in my life. To hear someone validate and normalize the aspects of myself that I have been ashamed of has been the most rewarding experience.
Had I been diagnosed earlier in life, I think I would have felt a deep amount of shame. But as an adult – and a mother specially – I can say that the level of freedom to know what is happening internally is the biggest gift. In a book I recommend strongly called “A radical guide for women with ADHD“The authors write,” What if the goal of the treatment is to make it easier to access more of who you really are, not get over who you are? ”
As long as I tried to fix myself by denying who I was. Now I have finally stopped fighting against the stream and I get to work with my gifts, not against them.
Jessica Molina Is AA Puerto Rican writer and filmmaker who is engaged in strengthening different stories within Latina society. For more than 15 years of experience, she has directed and creatively produced short -shaped documentaries for today’s leading artists, including Karol G, Doechii and Becky G. Her influence work has been presented over platforms such as Spotify, Remezcla, Hiplatina, Revolt TV and Latina Magazine. .
