Travis Kelce has made a mum’s boy cool again. But before that, many people considered that mother-son proximity would be the ultimate dating. After all, mum’s boys are best known for missing boundaries, weapons entryAnd not know when it’s time to block off his mother’s breast, so to speak.
But the good thing about Mama’s Boys is that they not all “goo goo ga” for the women who gave birth to them: fortunately there is a breed of mom’s boys out there who not only love and respect their mothers, but can also do their laundry, throw away their junk and buy food as well. (They just may not look like Kelce, unfortunately.)
But with both advantages and disadvantages to consider, many still question the debate: Are mother’s boys actually dardara? With the help of the relationship’s expert Nicole Moore, let’s discuss why they are absolutely marriage material.
Experts displayed in this article
Nicole Moore Is a relationship therapist and founder of the “Love Works method”, a program that has helped people find lasting love quickly.
What is a mother’s boy?
A mother’s boy is a term used to describe a man who is very close to her mother and may be easily influenced by her as well. Although there are many different positive and negative connotations to the term, a mother’s boy is usually seen in a negative light. Of course, it is not a bad thing to be close to your mother, but a mother’s boy tends to take it a step too far – often she leans on her for support or to make a decision for him when he is a working adult.
Are Mum’s boys actually marriage material?
If you talk to a man who simply loves his mother but also has healthy boundaries with her, you should keep this mom’s boy harder than the childhood blanket that he can stick to the night. Moore tells Popsugar that dating of this kind of mother’s boy has his benefits. “They are often in themselves family -focused men, which is a plus if you are a woman who wants to start a family with a romantic partner,” she says. “They also respect women because they have a huge amount of respect for their mother, and some are really in contact in a good way with their feminine side.”
In other words, if confirmation words are your Language of LoveThese mother’s boys have the ability to express their feelings more openly and safely. (Maybe with some sensual Dirty call also?)
“You may literally feel in the end you are dealing with a man -child who does not want to disappoint his mother.”
On the opposite side of the spectrum, however, those with co -dependent relationships with their mothers are. According to Moore, it is these men who cannot do anything without their mother’s help and often “easily influenced” by their mother. They can also share too many intimate details about the relationship with their mother. In these cases, these mother’s boys will often put their mother first over you. “You may in the end feel that you are dealing with a man-child who does not want to disappoint his mother or leave her at all,” says Moore.
They can also expect to put on caretaker. “They can project the mother role on you and expect you to cater for them as their mother does,” says Moore. “If your mother’s boy partner has not learned basic adult skills because his mother has taken care of everything for him, he may be mega resilient to learning these skills now.”
Sure, these mum’s boys can be tolerableBut trust me when I say that your vagina will miss lubrication at any time your partner asks her mother for permission to travel out of the state with you. If this is a no to you – and let me be clear, it should be a no for you – Moore has some additional tips you can think of when you meet this kind of mom’s boy.
Tips for being with a mom’s boy
Yes, it is possible to have a healthy relationship with a mother’s boy, but it starts by setting boundaries early in a relationship, says Moore.
Just know that your partner’s mother or partner can interpret your borders as an attempt to promote him from his mother. For this reason, Moore recommends that you order all conversations on boundaries by first letting a mother’s boy know that you are not trying to get him to turn on his mother, but you simply try to protect the whole in your romantic relationship with him. ”
According to Moore, here is a script that you can use: “I really respect that you love and care about your mom so much, and I don’t want to do anything to reduce that relationship. But I feel that you sometimes prioritize your mother over our relationship. I want to feel completely selected and as if you give your full self for me to give my full self. “XYZ” Here may be a request for uninterrupted quality time or for larger limits in the division of intimate details with the strenuous mother in question.
It can also be helpful to exercise empathy when you meet a mother’s boy. “Mama’s boys are often terrified of hurting, disappointed or losing their close connection to their mother, so only be aware that even if your borders or changes are very logical, they may need to be treated first by your partner’s primitive emotional mind before coming to the logical side,” says Moore. “If you can understand that your partner is afraid to make these changes at any level, it can help you be more patience with him instead of expecting him to change immediately.”
That said, if you have repeatedly asked your partner to set boundaries with their mother and they refuse to meet a mom’s boy may not be for you. And if you encode your partner’s ego or emotion, the easiest way is to kill your libido, again, maybe this is not for you. For let’s be clear: no one should feel that they are the third wheel in their relationship – especially when it is you, your partner and their mother.
Taylor Andrews is a balance editor on PS that specializes in subjects relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health and more.