As I do every year, I recently looked at the entire OG “Gossip Girl” series. Apart from being one of the biggest TV programs on earth (don’t argue with me, you won’t win), the show has plenty of PG-13 Sex scenes – Of which some are very illegal. Some involve lavish silk tiles topped with rose petals and surrounded by lightwith what I can only assume is underwear It costs more than my rent. Then there is mild fussy Scenes, such as Serena and Nate’s strawberries and whipped cream connection in the kitchen. Sure to say, most people don’t have so sex.
Looking at how this iconic show depicts sex made me think: now that it is Valentine’s DayI would be willing to invest in many feeling the pressure to plan a sexy and elaborate night with their partner at the moment. I’m sure your local Victoria’s Secret and Brazilian wax places shake record winnings this week. While it is common to Do v-day sex special And romantic, I think the high expectations we set on ourselves to show off for the holidays prevent us from recognizing the love and sexual connection we know with our partners every day.
So this Valentine’s Day, think about my argument: it’s time to realize that “boring” relationship sex is sometimes the best.
I think there is a big difference between dating sex and “I love you” sex.
Hear me-when I say “boring”, I don’t refer to a five-minute, simple flop around bodies that happen outside the routine. I mean the kind of sex like movies and TV shows make us feeling is boring. Uneventful. Worldly. Especially on Valentine’s Day, fictional stories can cause some feelings of inadequacy, as if the gender you share with your significant others is not special or warm enough. After all, unless you present a greater fire risk with light or max out your credit card at La Perla, do you even have good sex?
I have this theory that my friends are probably tired of hearing about. I think there is a big difference between dating sex and “I love you” sex. When you meet any and none of you have shared the three words yet, there is often a feeling of wanting to satisfy or even impress the other person. You want them to think that you are good in bed and that you will stay that way, so it is more likely that you do what you think is sexy for them. But the first time “I love you” gets involved during sex, it changes everything. I have only shared that moment with a small number of partners, but when it has happened, it is like something that has woken up in me. Rather than ripping each other’s clothes with passion or becoming kinky with New toys Or positions, something as simple as saying “I love you” can increase your connection exponentially and make you appreciate the intimacy you share. It can also feel much more powerful than giving in the constant pressure that puts on women to present themselves in a “sexy” way for the male look.
Even if you and your SO have not pronounced the phrase yet, you do not have to go out on the V-day (or any day) to have a fulfilling sex life. Want to know how many of my friends plan sex with their partners? Very. As clinically as it sounds, make sure you prioritize sex in your relationship in every possible way have endless benefits. You will feel more attracted to and connected to your partner overall and putting together that effort is so important. That is why the relationship can be much more powerful and effective than a wild bathroom quickie or a night with eye bonds and role play. Just the act of choosing to be physically intimate with your partner means that you still have the desire to maintain a sense of closeness and vulnerability with them.
Does your sex life always have to be part of a routine and consistent vanilla? Absolutely not. If you are in a freaky shit or want to explore Bdsm or a recent discovery fetish Together, go for it. As long as it is all consensus, I fully support to be sexually adventurous.
But do not get stuck in the idea of crazy orgasms or drawn out, overplay foreplay to feel or be sexy with your partner. Spending even 15 minutes playing, playing around and sharing physical pleasure makes the whole difference. Whether it is Valentine’s Day or just a random Tuesday, let sex happen in what way it happens – no rose petals are required.
Lexi ink Is a lifestyle journalist based in Brooklyn, new. In addition to her contributions on PS, she is a staff writer at Bustle’s Sex & Relationship Vertical and a lifestyle news author for the list.